I've recently began waging a war I know I can't win against World of Warcraft. One comment from my boyfriend was "you just don't know how to have fun".

Its late at night, finals week. The last thing on my mind is cell biology. For some reason I can't stop wondering about how I usually have fun.

I can't think of an answer.


Well, not a solid answer. I can tell you that my favorite activities in the world involve spontaneity; random walks with my friend Kas, sudden decisions to go to the club, or Salem, or Maine... do I need to have that security blanket of a schedule? I feel like that ties a person down.

So maybe I'm not a gamer, but, what DO i do for fun? When I'm not doing work I'm staring into nothing. That doesn't change in the summer- i'm either working, working out, or staring... That is, when my spontaneous and random adventures are a no-go.

basically, i need a hobby. I've been trying to pick up music again, but all the feedback I'm getting isn't very positive, and its discouraging...
unhealthy

non supportive...

and I ask myself, what is the problem? Where have I gone wrong? When did I change?

I can't even pick up a pencil anymore.

its lost its luster.


god damn finals. making me all crazy. I know I'll feel differently tomorrow. Part of that whole spontaneous deal.

-E.m.o

... yes those are seriously my initials. plus this was the most emo entry ever. ugh.